Protecting Exiles on the Internet

The Purpose of Paywalls

Exiles need protecting even if they don’t think they do

Dee (Exile): I want to be out and about on the internet, A!
Sharky (Firefighter): For the love of God, how many times are we going to have this conversation!
A (Self-energy): As many times as it takes.
Sharky: Fine!! Ugh.
A: Hey Dee, what’s up?
Dee: Why CAN’T I be out and about? I want to make fun IFS videos! Fun, fun, fun!
A: You can make fun IFS videos, but they have to be behind a paywall. You can’t be out and about on the internet because there are bullies and mean people, and it’s my job to protect you.

Exiles attract bullying

Dee (Exile): But I’m good. Nothing is bad about me. I’m delightful! Why would anyone want to be mean to me?
A (Self Energy): Because your delightfulness attracts meanness, Dee.
Dee: (putting a finger in the belly button and pushing it a bit) But why?
Sharky (Firefighter): Just doing that will attract haters, Dee! Anything that diverges from what other people expect, they’ll use it to get a little dopamine hit of superiority! They’ll look down on you, and use you as a stepladder to prop their nasty little selves up a bit!
Oh, no, you need to be judged because you put your finger in your belly button! “Who does that?” We’ve been judged for exactly that tiny little infraction against humanity before, and all you were doing was having a little fun and expressing yourself!
Dee: Well yeah, that did happen on the beach. I was a happy person and I just pushed in a bit. But it’s a little divot and why can’t I push it? It’s a button, and everyone knows you press a button, so why can’t I press my own button? It’s quite innocent!
Sharky: Maybe, but you got a manager to say a spiteful little thing to you as a result.
Dee: It did happen. I was sad. I’m still sad. I’ll be sad for 100 years just like the rocks in Arnold Lobel’s story “Two Large Stones” in “Mouse Soup.”

Exile vulnerability = Attracting hate like moths to a flame

Sharky (Firefighter): This is my point! If you’re going to be sad for 100 years over a small bullying incident from over a decade ago, exactly how are you going to handle haters on the internet, Dee?
Dee (Exile): (hesitantly) I wouldn’t be able to?
Sharky: No, Dee, you wouldn’t be able to, so all A and the protectors are trying to do is make sure haters don’t get you.
Dee: But I’m a nice person. I have my own issues and imperfections but I’m nice inside.
Sharky: I know that, but haters just hate. That’s what they do. It makes them feel good to be mean. Or they’re thoughtless, I don’t know. They’re firefighters who lash out at innocence. You’re a big light of vulnerability and they come to it like a moth to a flame!

Exiles can’t just ‘not care’

Dee (Exile): Me, being me, means they want to be mean? That’s very unfair.
Sharky (Firefighter): The world is not fair, Dee.
Dee: Man, I’ll say. I’m going along being me with a belly button and that’s all it takes for somebody to spit on me! I ain’t done nothin’ wrong!
Sharky: That’s as true as it gets, Dee.
Dee: Jeez already. This is ridiculous. What kind of a world is this where all I gotta do is breathe and get meanness coming over to me? Ugh.
Sharky: It is how it is, Dee. We have to protect you from it.
Dee: Couldn’t I try to be impervious and not care?
Sharky: How has that worked for you so far? Are you still upset that someone said, “Who does that?” to you over a decade ago on the beach?
Dee: I be.
Sharky: Well, if you ‘be’ upset ten years later, then good luck being impervious to some random internet hater.
Dee: I couldn’t be.
Sharky: This is my point.

Exile accepts that paywalls = internet protection

Dee (Exile): So no matter what, I gotta stop bothering you to be out and about on the internet because I’ll never get my way?
Sharky (Firefighter): Correct. There’s no place on the internet that’s safe for exiles, Dee. Substack is mostly nice, but there are still haters. We can’t have you attacked by people. It’s not okay.
Dee: Well, already. Too bad because this is why we can’t have nice things! I’m nice, and I like to share my ideas and I have good IFS ideas and I want to share them, but they have to go behind the paywall because I gotta be protected from the 2% mean people and then the 98% nice people get dinged for the mean ones. That is crap!
Sharky: It’s crap but it’s a fact. Sometimes things are crap, Dee. I’m sorry we have to paywall your audio and video ideas, but for what it’s worth, at least you get to talk here.
Dee: Yeah, okay. I can accept it now. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me about it Sharky.
Sharky: I apologize I said, “For the love of God” and expressed impatience. A helped me get patient and I’m glad we talked about it.
Dee: Me too. I’m small, but I’m mighty and I can learn! I’m sorry I keep bringing it up and you keep having this same conversation with me. But hopefully this is more progress towards me really understanding. Understanding is the key to liberation! When someone really, really understands then it unravels the issue and it dissolves. I can’t promise it’s fully dissolved but I can say I have less desire to be out and about on the internet than I did when we started talking.
Sharky: Well, I’ll take it! And I’ll have more patience if it does come up again.