The List of Things We've Tried
The List of Things We've Tried
An exile and firefighter discuss the perennial problem of going to bed late • How sugar and fear are involved
Another minor sugar slip-up
GC (Exile): Ut oh, we ate something we shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, Sharky. I know I’m trying to help you not be upset about the sugar debacle. We had a minor slip-up: we ate maca powder — it’s kinda sugary. We ate about 3 tablespoons of it. Not a massive disaster, but not ideal either.
Sharky (Firefighter): (big sigh). We can’t have ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING in the house that we might accidentally ingest. Stress is unpredictable. Over Christmas, we had the toffee on the landing for a few days before we lost our mind and ate a tiny bit of it, even though we did do a good job giving most of it away. MOST is not all. We need a 100% moratorium on having ANYTHING sugary-dangerous in the house.
GC: You’re right. Well, we ate the entire small bottle of maca powder that we know we shouldn’t eat, so now it’s kind of out of the house, ‘cuz it’s in our belly!
Sharky:
GC: Is there anything I can do?
Sharky: Let’s just give up completely on today and go to bed.
Fear of going to bed
GC (Exile): But if we go to bed, it will hurt.
Sharky (Firefighter): GC, we have to go to bed.
GC: But it will hurt.
Sharky: Somebody has to learn how to handle the fear of the pain of going to bed. I don’t care, I truly don’t care if it’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt at 9 pm, 10 pm, 11 pm, 12 pm, you name it, delaying it won’t change that it will hurt.
GC: But we only ate maca powder and we’re not numb enough. If we get really, really tired we’ll be more numb. Then it WILL hurt less. You are wrong. Going to bed later WILL hurt less.
Sharky: All valid points, but I’m already so tired!! I’m numb from the maca powder and I’m MAD about being chased around by psychopaths forever, so I’m going to bed.
GC: Then it’s gonna hurt.
Sharky: Fine. I don’t care. We’ll get pillow out and use pillow. I do not care.
Green (Manager): [pillow is a weighted pillow that feels like it weighs ten pounds; holding it or laying on it is nervous-system regulating].
GC: I’m putting this behind the paywall!
Sharky: I don’t care. I’m a firefighter and I. Don’t. Care. I’m going to do what I want, and I don’t care how much it hurts. As long as we don’t do anything dangerous I don’t give a shit, I’m going to double down on breaking through this phobia of going to bed because it hurts. So what. It fucking hurts. FINE. I’m doing it.
GC: Okay, let’s see what happens! [Edited months later to add — since this happened a few months ago, I don’t care if it’s behind the paywall now!]
The body wins
Sharky: We did not go to bed. The body wins! Even though I’m a firefighter and you would think I would be the one with the most control over that, apparently, I do not.
GC: Bessel says “The Body Keeps the Score.” Gabor says, “When the Body Says No.” The body is a bigger force than you or me put together.
Sharky: That may be, but parts are the LINK between the body and the brain. We have to keep chipping away at this problem, GC.
GC: It seems like a whack-a-mole issue to me. If we don’t eat, then we stay up late. We can go to bed earlier but we numb with weird supplement powders or god forbid a fruit festival or absolute horror, sugar.
Sharky: I have confidence our sugar eating days are over. That last holiday toffee- eating fiasco was devastating. We’re just now recovering. I don’t think we’ll do that again.
GC: Okay, well, there’s still supplement powders and fruit to menace us.
Sharky: Maybe, but there aren’t any in the house now.
The List
GC (Exile): I don’t love staying up late but I loathe eating bad stuff even more than staying up late, so if it’s a contest, I choose staying up late.
Sharky (Firefighter): Ugh. Dysregulation. Someone asked me “What have you tried to heal your nervous system?” today on Facebook and I got HOPPING PIPING enraged and wrote such a f$%#ing long list of things I hope it discouraged them from offering their two cents on whacka flacka their managers want me to do to ‘fix’ myself that I haven’t already tried.
GC: The list was so long, it went to Australia.
Sharky: Here it is:
What have you tried to heal your nervous system?
7,000+ hours of Internal Family Systems psychotherapy on myself
2,350 hours of training in Internal Family Systems psychotherapy
Chiropractic adjustments (weekly)
Rolfing (6 different Rolfers over 10 years)
Acupuncture (10 different acupuncturists over 20 years)
Supplements
Sauna
Flotation tank
Buteyko breathing
Swimming
Vagus nerve exercises (humming, gagging, coughing, etc)
Diet - no sugar, no gluten, low oxalate, no nightshades, nothing processed, grass-fed, grass-finished meat, no dairy, no seed oils, all organic, etc.
Coffee enemas
Liver flushes (Andreas Moritz protocol)
Sun exposure
Cold showers
Air purifiers
Herbal tea
Glyphosate detox with glycine and collagen
Mineral balancing
6 months of silence meditation
Authentic Movement
Dahn Yoga
Vegetarianism
Meditation
Journaling
Poetry
Literature / Reading
Calorie Restriction with Optimum Nutrition (CR / CRON)
Traditional Chinese Medicine
Chakra healing
Feldenkrais
Pilates
Kirtan / Chanting
Gong wash / Sound bath / Sound healing
Naturopathy
Co-Active Life Coaching
Organizational and Relationship Coaching / Process Work
World Work / Deep Democracy
Inquiry process (Diamond Heart - Ridhwan School)
Kundalini Yoga / Sadhana
Minimalism / essentialism / conscious consumerism
Ecstatic Dance
Voice Dialogue
Macrobiotics
Narrative Therapy
Storytelling
Soul Motion
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
Alexander Technique
Massage
Journey Dance
T’ai Chi
Energy Healing
Positive Discipline
Enneagram
Psychodrama
Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT)
Art Therapy
Shivambu
Voice Healing
Dance Movement Therapy
GTD (David Allen)
Sociometry
Applied Improv
Five Elements
Shiatsu
Thai Massage
Holotropic Breathwork
Dagara Grief Ritual
Hatha Yoga
Iyengar Yoga
Bikram Yoga
Sivananda Yoga
Body-Mind Centering (Bonnie Bainbridge-Cohen)
Meisner Method
Somatic Experiencing
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
GC: Well, nobody can say we don’t try stuff.
Sharky: Amen.