IFS Managers, an overview: Green is a classic manager part.
Managers try to control behavior, prevent pain, and maintain functioning—particularly by suppressing vulnerable or impulsive parts.
Green discusses managers’ main roles, some of which are helpful, like analyzing and organizing, and some of which are not!
Emotional immaturity: As a manager, Green is deeply upset about their lack of self-control and how that manifests as interrupting other parts.
Shifts in Relationship to Emotion: Green realizes that the attempt to suppress sadness or perform "well" is a managerial strategy. There's a profound moment when Green sees through this strategy and acknowledges its futility, choosing to stay with their emotions instead of suppressing them.
Polarization and Self-Awareness
Green notes internal polarization between the part that wants to be “cogent and productive” and the part that is just sad. This internal conflict is classic IFS. Rather than choosing one side, Green eventually allows space for both perspectives to exist.
The shift from “urgency” and “optimization” to allowing slowness shows Green's increasing trust in Self-led healing. There's a growing capacity to notice, rather than react from, polarized states.
Self-Energy Emerges
As Green allows emotion and lets go of control, we see Self-energy: calmness, compassion, clarity and curiosity. These qualities arise when Green steps back and reflects on their sadness, fear, and managerial habits.
There are many “Self to part” moments, where Green speaks about their manager self, or reflects kindly on their motivations (e.g., wanting to help, avoid pain, or be of service).
Witnessing and Inner Dialogue
The entire exchange models the IFS method of witnessing parts with curiosity and compassion. Even the humorous moments (like the acorns of fear) help create space between Green and their emotional charge, softening the intensity of overwhelming feelings.
Integration and Transformation
Green has a tangible arc of transformation, from self-criticism and internal reactivity to insight, compassion, and a plan for integration.
Green moves from an all-or-nothing emotional stance (“I want to take my marbles and go home”) to a nuanced, inclusive view that accepts different responses without collapsing into shame or control.
Pearls of IFS Wisdom
“Slow is fast” – Emotional work cannot be rushed. Pushing for productivity in inner work often backfires.
“Letting go of needing to make sense” – Embracing emotional experience over intellectual coherence.
Compassion for managers – Recognition that manager parts developed sophisticated skills (executive function, organization) but weren’t given space to develop emotional capacity.
Shared leadership and vulnerability – Green’s process highlights the emotional complexity of offering leadership that includes shared vulnerability (holding the group while also being in it).
Misunderstanding and boundaries – Green’s work is a master class in navigating the tension between being misunderstood and holding firm to a loving offering without collapsing or becoming defensive.
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the Deep Magic Group Green’s session is all about
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